In Which I Haven’t Dated For a While….

Once upon a time there was a gal who played around on dating websites.

She wrote blog posts about disastrous encounters and humorous “I-cant-believe-a-guy-would-say-that-and-expect-a-date” messages.

Suddenly the posts stopped.

She found out that while it’s easy to write about the bad dates and poke fun at the ludicrous interactions, it’s much harder to write about dating from the standpoint of dating someone you might actually have a future with! (And even during the first month, the potential for a future was there.)

After a few brief exchanges via OKCupid, we met in person December 1 of 2015.  [I was 30 minutes late to our first date because I couldn’t find my car keys, and I’ve stayed pretty much true to character since.]

We lived an hour and half apart, so our dates tended to be marathon all-day affairs.

A restaurant
A Pub
The Mustard Museum
The Gift of a Couch
Acquiring Cats
Christmas parties
Gingerbread Houses
New Year’s Party
Breaking Bad

The first time he told me he loved me was on Valentine’s Day– Scared the CRAP out of me because I was NOT ready to take that step yet and didn’t think it was possible for him to be. [I was wrong] Continue reading “In Which I Haven’t Dated For a While….”


In Which I am in the Zone–The Friend Zone, That Is

I am often guilty of writing singularly from the perspective of why the men I write about aren’t worthy of my consideration as potential candidates for romance. This might lead a reader to believe that I have an over-inflated view of my own desirability.

Not so. I have experienced my fair share of rejection. And I would be remiss not to share a bit about that.

So today I present: The FRIEND ZONE— a space I have spent a great deal of time in, particularly in the not-too-recent past.

Continue reading “In Which I am in the Zone–The Friend Zone, That Is”

In Which Timing is EVERYTHING–and mine is not so fast

Everyone has their own pace. Mine? While I trend towards impulsive decisions, my overall pace is generally slow– Especially when it comes to online strangers.

Oh, don’t get me wrong– I’m all for meeting in person as SOON as I have determined that the human behind the screen SEEMs to be a decent sort. (Few things rot more than wasted time–investing energy and effort into getting to know someone through the written word only to discover you do not enjoy their actual presence. So I’m a fan of meetings in public places as early on as possible.)

But that’s about as fast as I tend to move in general.

I’m not one for placing a huge emphasis on the first date. I’m not looking for romance or spark. I’m looking for whether or not I ever want to endure this human’s company again. I’m looking for hanging out. For laughter. For a good experience. There are a million things that are important to know about worldview and ideals and compatibility in general. But none of them matter if I don’t enjoy his presence. So I treat a first date as a casual encounter rather than an event of SIGNIFICANCE.

The first time I met Mr. Moved-Too-Fast, we were both on time. But also equally 40 minutes late. I was waiting inside – He had waited outside. Wisconsin hates cell phone reception, so I had no way to communicate with him; and I was just about to give up when when he saw me through the window– oops!

I don’t really believe in foreshadowing, but if I did, that would probably have been a sign that we just weren’t on the same page.

Continue reading “In Which Timing is EVERYTHING–and mine is not so fast”

In Which Snow is Softly Falling

Before the roads turn slushy and slick… 

Before grey skies loom so pervasive that gloom seeps into the soul, obscuring the memory of sunshine… 

Before the drifts stain with brown and black (occasionally yellow)… 

There is a certain pristine magic to snow. A certain silence rich in hushed affirmation of beauty even in the bleakest weather. A gathering of white crystals tracing inky branches with a layer of lovely.  A bracing pause. A season. A something more that isn’t yet but soon. A wet whisper that clings to your coat, your hair, your eyelashes–but melts when you step inside the door. 


In Which I Reminisce About Recent Adventures

Today, I finally caved to the harsh reality of life and turned the heat on in the bird nest.

Thanks to newly replaced windows, eclipse curtains, and a downstairs neighbor who keeps things toasty, I was able to coast along the edges of winter for a while; but now that 30 has become the consistently highest high and snow has begun to gather on the front lawn, it is time to resign myself to the need for more than a fuzzy blanket and a hot cup of coffee.

These cooler temperatures have me feeling nostalgic and longing for the warmth of far away places–places like Florida and the Bahamas– both of which I had the joy of visiting last month.

It was the most incredible adventure– and It actually began on this blog two years ago. (But that’s another story for another time.)

In May, a Facebook status shared an invitation to partake of an amazingly-priced cruise to the Bahamas. Having never been on a cruise, and staring down 30 like the barrel of a gun, I decided, “Why not?” The likelihood of having either the free time available, the money, or the price point all together at the same time ‘someday’ in the future seemed pretty slim–and this was, after all, my year of living dangerously. On a whim, I booked an October vacation; and it was definitely one of the better of the impulsive decisions to which I tend to be prone.

Impulsive or not, the whole waiting for life to happen hasn’t been working out, so


And Oh, my friends, it was both grand AND glorious!

It all hinged on the company–which was FABULOUS (especially considering I only knew one of the 3 people I was meeting up with)–and that turned the decadence, adventure, fantastic food, epic exploration opportunities, and delicious warmth into a dazzling cocktail of wonderfulness that I really have no idea how to put into words. Without compromising the anonymity of the delightful peeps with whom I cruised, here are some of the highlights:
Continue reading “In Which I Reminisce About Recent Adventures”

In Which God’s Gift to the Female Population Writes a Profile

I’m about to analyze a profile from the female perspective. My words will be in brackets. Everything else is his.

About Him & Who He’s Looking For 

[Spoiler: It’s actually more about who he’s looking for–and she’s a great catch! The question I want to know: Is he????]

Continue reading “In Which God’s Gift to the Female Population Writes a Profile”

In Which there are Gold Stars and Punny Jokes

What’s with all the Gold stars mentioned in these conversations? Keep reading, you’ll find out.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you understand that I expect a lot from online conversations with strangers. I rarely continue them unless they are engaging; however, I do try to give people something to start with.

This is my current profile.
What do you think? Would you send me a message? Continue reading “In Which there are Gold Stars and Punny Jokes”

Ex Files: In Which 8 Years Will Become 9 Unless this Profile Changes Drastically

Every once in a while, I come across a profile SO BAD that I can’t help but wonder if the person is serious. Is it some sort of social experiment? Is it some kind of joke? Is it a tongue-in-cheek loss to a bet in which the loser had to set up a dating profile– and it was executed in the worst way the loser could possibly imagine?

Between the randomized capital letters, lack of punctuation, and whining, I’m not sure if I the note about being funny is hilarious or horribly tragic.

My self-summary


What I’m doing with my life


The first things people usually notice about me

i am funny

Ex Files: In Which there are Reasons I am Still Single

I made it to the bottom of your profile yay! I think most people only look at the picture lol! I thought you were pretty interesting I’d like to claim my prize, I’d love to chat it up with you I’m usually always free :p benefits of being single!

Thank you for your message, M***.
You may have your gold star, but I am far too fond of punctuation and properly capitalized pronouns to chat 🙂
Best wishes!

In my defense, I DID go to his profile before this response. It was egregiously worse. At least in his message he capitalized the letter i  before using it as a pronoun….

In Which I Reflect on Recent Milestones

It’s that time–the transition stage in which the description of this blog requires an update. It began as a the life adventures of a reluctantly single 20-something in her late somethings. Two years later, I can no longer claim those late somethings. It seems I have progressed into far deeper adulthood.

Continue reading “In Which I Reflect on Recent Milestones”

Ex Files: In Which I Get Blocked by a Judgmental Chicken Farmer

During the past several days, I have engaged in several conversations with single strangers.

One or two of them have struggled to get past: How are you? great! How was your day! wonderful, yours? Good, thanks. Have a good night! you too! (These conversations are clearly going nowhere.)

A few have been fun and engaging. (Which is both a blessing and a curse, because fun, engaging conversations take time. And time is a precious commodity. So they are fun and engaging in bits and pieces, with vast tracts of doing other things in between.)

And then there are the conversations that leave my wondering what the heck is happening? They begin in a promising fashion and devolve into… well, in the case of the chicken farmer, insult and assumption.
Continue reading “Ex Files: In Which I Get Blocked by a Judgmental Chicken Farmer”

Ex Files: In Which He Misses Cuddling and I Miss Decent Conversation

So here I am– Back to the realm of exchanging awkward internet ice breakers with strangers who think my profile picture is pretty.

(Of COURSE it’s pretty—It was taken by the talented Casey Butler—you can request a session with her at Today’s Portraits Tomorrow’s Treasures!)

As I re-embark on this quest for companionship obtained through internet connection, one thing I find baffling is the complete disregard many seem to display for either engaging conversation or propriety.

Lacking the dimensions of vocal inflection and facial expression, it is doubly important for message initiators to ask engaging questions—to give someone SOMETHING to reply to— or write something to FURTHER the conversation. Alas, many people write bland, insipid things, and wonder why the conversation doesn’t go anywhere. or they write things that really DON’T contribute to their efforts to establish a relationship.

When people read through my profile and attempt conversation, I feel obligated to at least humor them, but I have learned from network marketing to work with the working. I match effort with effort. I refuse to be scintillating if they are boring, but I will at least give them a chance.

All chances stop dead in their tracks, however, when either:
Continue reading “Ex Files: In Which He Misses Cuddling and I Miss Decent Conversation”

Ex Files: In Which A Stranger Discusses Awkward Dance Parties

After a rather long hiatus and affirming that the waiting-to-be-hit-on-the-grocery-store approach wasn’t working, I decided to update one of my dating profiles.

An hour in, and we already have shenanigans.

It started out promising.
His profile was engaging and made me laugh.
He messaged me first (something I always appreciate).
He used full sentences and punctuation.

It went downhill from there.

Continue reading “Ex Files: In Which A Stranger Discusses Awkward Dance Parties”

In Which I Assess Degrees of Bacon

“Don’t go Bacon My Heart!– I couldn’t if I fried!”

It’s a pun only a bacon lover would appreciate–But no worries! As Paleo and clean eating increase in popularity, so does Bacon.

Memes like this abound on the interwebs
Memes like this abound on the interwebs

What is almost as popular as bacon? Online Dating– specifically Apps that allow users to swipe yes or no based on a single picture and MAYBE a phrase or two!

Enter the Oscar Mayer App named SIZZL.

“Must love bacon” sounds like a brilliant premise for a swipe-worthy relationship, so of COURSE I had to explore it! (Wouldn’t that be a great story for the grandkids? “How did you and grandpa meet?” “Well, kids, It was a match made in bacon!”)
Continue reading “In Which I Assess Degrees of Bacon”